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Transcripts/BLOOPER REEL!! Return of the Bloop! (Sanders Sides)
Logan: It is important to keep receipts. Did you see that I held it upside down? That's a bloop. Joan: That's a bloop if I've ever seen one Logan *laughs* *logo* Thomas: *fumbling over his words* What is, everybody? *laughs* Good start to this video. You all have been asking for another bloopers video and another bloopers video you shall receive! In the time since the last one, there have been so many mistakes, ad-libs, and everything in between that we just decided to draw from the last three Sanders Sides episodes, and leave the Cartoon Therapy and other videos for another day, because look how long this video already is. There is quite a bit of censored cursing and inappropriate behavior in front of, and behind, the camera, so, fair warning. Now, let's get into it. Are you ready? ------------- Thomas: I think- I think so. Joan: Oh god! Thomas: Start immediately by breaking the freaking Wi-Fi (*Joan giggles*) That's how we started out this filming process. Welcome! ------------- Logan: Testing ------------- Joan: Test audio, boop boop. Say somethin? Virgil: Uh... boop boop ------------- Joan: Bloop! ------------- Logan: Bloop bloop bloop bloop. ------------- Virgil: POOP ------------- Thomas: BOOM, BABY! ------------- Logan: WOoooooOoOOoooOoah- ------------- Patton: *laughter in the style of Disney's Goofy* ------------- Thomas: *blowing his hair out of his face* ------------- Virgil: Guck- ------------- Patton: *confusion noises* ------------- Roman: I feel POWERFUL!!! ------------- Thomas: *offended gasp* ------------- Logan: Pfft... I- *laughs* ------------- Deceit: I'd like to call my next witness to the stand... VIRRRRGILLLLLLLLLLLLLL! *laughter* ------------- Deceit: I'd like to call my next witne- Ow, I hurt myself doing that sh*t. ------------- Deceit: *twirls* I'd like to call my next- *laughs* Deceit: I'll get it right. I'm a dancer. ------------- Virgil: Oh, what is thi- I-I just found this? *holding up middle finger* Oh my gosh, Deceit, is this yours? ------------- Virgil: Please do not dress me *laughs* Virgil: Please never take off my clothes and put me in new clothes ever again. *laughs* ------------- Patton: He's weaseling theee- um- witness. *laughs* ------------- Patton: Thanks Roman. BA-!! *laughs* BA!! Patton: Our baby lawyer. Patton: Thanks Roman. EH-! Patton: Thank you, Roman. BOU-! *laughter* Pfffft, what's going on? Patton: Aaaaaaaaah- ------------- Thomas: Could you imagine of Spider-Man had Sanders Sides? Thomas: Patton, should I kill Green Goblin? Joan: No! Thomas: *in a Patton voice* No! You silly spider! ------------- Roman: We're talking about hearing him out in regards to him shoot- shout- shooting puppets. ------------- Beagle: It's not easy being green. *using Roman puppet* I read that somewhere. Thomas: Somebody said it. Nate: Actually, I think I just made it up. *laughing in background* ------------- Logan: You WHAT?! Logan: You what?! Logan: You do? Logan: Ohhh my gosh. Sorry. You- You- Joan: You- Do- Logan: You- Do- ------------- Virgil: Now I'm gonna go be- come on... Come on. ------------- Patton:Oh, Logan, come on! We're gonna need- mmmmm-mmm. ------------- Thomas: Let's give him the old "liar liar". What's colors- what's colors? What's- what is colors? Joan: What's colors?? Thomas: What's colors?!?!?! ------------- Deceit: Ouch. ------------- Virgil: HA- mmh.. pfft. Couldn't get it out of the... the pocket. ------------- Logan: No, I mean people fall out of public opinion... holy sh*t. Joan: Oh my God- Logan: People fall out of public o-favor very quickly. Did you see how I almost said opinion again? Logan: *groans* ------------- Thomas: *walking and waving Logan's mechanical robot arm* *laughter* Like, wiggling. Logan's like *weird groaning noises* Thomas: *pinching the little mechanical hand* Do you even pinch like that?? "I'm comin' for ya. High five!" ------------- Roman: Ow! I poked myself in the eye with my own thumb! *slow motion replay* ------------- Logan: Intact and wet! Ow- ------------- Patton: I know nothing! *majestically stumbles* *laughter* Joan: Are you okay? ------------- Thomas: *stumbles* Holy schmokes! ------------- Roman: Did someone say mummy? Joan: You hit the lamp with your hat! *laughter* ------------- Roman: *hits lamp while walking up* I'd also like to contribute to this- Thomas: WHOA- Roman: Weird vent-y song! Nate: Sorry- Thomas: You hit the lamp! Roman, c'mon, calm down! ------------- Roman: Ow! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Thomas: *laughs* Nate: You hit me in the throat! You his me IN THE THROAT- *laughter* *gagging noises* Nate: Wouldn't that be amazing if it just went, it stuck in there? Thomas: *laughs* And just eats it in front of 'em Nate: Look at it. LOOK AT MY EYES AS I EAT IT. ------------- Deceit: Now, could we please- Mmm-mm. Deceit: Could we please- sh*t- in my mouth! ------------- Thomas: That was an old college band I was in, okay- *Thomas and Joan laugh* Alright! Gotta get through this! Thomas: That is, um... an old college band I was in... Oh my God! Joan: *censored* Get it together, Sanders! ------------- Thomas: *sneezes* Joan: Ugh, bless myself. *laughs* Thomas: This is so silly- Joan: Come back up with a bloody nose like 'Ah!' Thomas: I sneezed myself so hard, I regenerated! ------------- Joan: I'm sure you're wondering what kind of content you'll see on that channel. Well, I'll show you. *laughter* Joan: Oh my God! Awkward Adventures?!?! I love that series! Joan: Whoooooa, I don't have glasses on! ------------- Joan: Thomas was just like, spinning in circles, like "Where are my glasses?" Thomas: They were on my face... ------------- Joan: *off screen* Logan, that's a shame, right? Thomas: *gasps and makes a bomb explosion noise* Joan: *off screen* What? Joan: Oh sh*t! Thomas: *laughs* Whoopsie doodles! Thomas *in Deceit's voice* When he's behind the witness stand, the gloves are off. ------------- Logan: *snapping* Yesss, b*tch ------------- Virgil: Well, unlike our pedantic friend, I don't have an issue with strong language... *deep breath* BOIIIII *laughs* ------------- Logan: Agreeable!- shhhhhhfshffshsfff... static. ------------- Patton: Where were you when the underwear was left on the- *makes whispering noises to indicate that he has messed up* ------------- Roman: *blows noise maker* Yes! Our first- *stutters* ------------- Thomas: Roman, what the heeeck, man? *laughs* ------------- Patton: Hey everyone. Patton: I'd like to talk to you about Jesus Christ. ------------- Patton: Putting it simply, rain is a necessary piece of the puzzle, that is... the existence of life. According to... the book of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. ------------- Deceit: In a legal setting?! You lose! Wilder as Willy Wonka: You lose! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! Deceit: You stole fizzy lifting drinks! Joan: I was thinking that. Deceit: Legal and binding! You signed it! Wilder: Good day, sir! Deceit: Good day, sir!! ------------- Logan: *in a weird voice* Faalsehood. *Joan laughs* ------------- Joan: *mumbles*leave the teaching to me.. *giggles* ------------- Virgil: Ohohoho, sh*t! *laughs* Virgil: I wend red, 'cause that is now what I usually do. Let me un-red my face right now. ------------- Deceit: Hold on, the, uh, human side of Deceit's gotta settle down the blushing. ------------- Thomas: Guys- Thomas: Ugh! Thomas: This is the life I wanted. This is the life I wanted *laughs* ------------- Patton: Oof! Or should I say... woof? ------------- Logan: I found gun underneath my chair... ------------- Roman: Ah, I broke my gavel. *laughter* ------------- Roman: *bird noises* I'm a pretty pretty bird! Roman: It's 2 o'clock, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. ------------- Logan: Unlike him, I find it difficult- ------------- Logan: Wherein... Joan: By which... Logan: By which... it's a bi witch. It's a bisexual witch. ------------- Joan: Pretty gross? Thomas: Uh, no. Joan: It's just sweetener. *laughter* ------------- Virgil: Twilight, eat your heart out ------------- Virgil: Be very afraid! ------------- Roman: This is the song! Oh sh*t. ------------- Roman: But a life full of jokes- FREE of jokes is incomplete!! ------------- Logan: This just serves as tetriment *starts laughing* to the fact that to me you're negligent- ------------- Virgil: No one wants to be a joke... *music startles him* Virgil: Sh*t! ------------- Virgil: There! *music in the background goes "There!" after him* ------------- Patton: There! *music in the background goes "There!" after him* ------------- Patton: Uhhhhhhhh there! Now you see! ------------- Roman: Lest you both end up blind... *laughs* Roman: Sorry! I just can imagine...'blind' ------------- Deceit: Where's the wedding? Deceit: ...That was stupid. That was a stupid move. Deceit: Eat sh*t, losers. *laughter off screen* ------------- Deceit: F*cking killed that one. Ow. ------------- Deceit: Get ready. I just beefed it over here. You're gonna have to stand in it. *laughter* ------------- Deceit: Read off the charges, pleeeaseeeeeeeee *weird hissing noises* ------------- Deceit: I'm not evil. I'm just... Joan: Drawn Deceit Drawn that way. *laughs* ------------- Thomas: But a life free of jokes is incomplete! *makes rapidfire noise* ------------- Nate Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Manah manah- *laughter* ------------- Thomas: Ha, you little bagged lunch. I'm gonna punch you right in your sack! Oh! Joan: That's your whole body! Thomas: That's your whole body! OHHHHHHHH! ------------- Thomas: Nice lunch bag, you know what you need? A knuckle sandwich! OHHHHHH! ------------- Logan: *giggles* I have no idea what the f*ck I'm doing. ------------- Logan: Virgil is right. We- *rubix cube slams on the ground* ------------- Logan: Virgil is right. We argue and argue- *rubix cube slams on the ground again* Dang nabbit. ------------- Logan: Then you distract yourself and forget about the issue until you're reminded of it- ag- of it again. ------------- Logan: We're trapped in a figurative Sisyphean nightmare! Logan: This line is a figurative Sisyphean nightmare. ------------- Roman: You don't have to say figurative, Logan. We know that we're not literally trapped in a nightmare. Look what I drew! ------------- Deceit: And now, I'd like to call Thomas Standers- ...Whoops. Joan: Totally didn't f*ck up just now. *laughter* ------------ Thomas: You got me there....*laughs* ------------ Logan: Do you wanna throw more Butterfingers at me? Joan: Oh sh*t, I missed. ------------ (Joan throws the Butterfingers, it lands in Thomas's lap. He holds it up.) Thomas: *laughs* ------------ Logan: Butterfingers? ------------ (Joan throws the Butterfingers and it bounces off the desk and onto the floor *laughter* ------------ (Joan throws the Butterfingers, and Thomas/Logan almost knocks the microphone over trying to grab it.) Logan: Butterfingers? *laughs* ------------ Logan: Butterfingers? Joan: *laughs* Logan: Have not learned not to throw things at me? ------------ Patton: Here you go, Logan! *blinds rustle as he throws the rubix cube* ------------ Thomas: I wasn't ready! Joan: Sorry- ------------ (Thomas throws the candy and Joan drops it) Thomas: We are just wonderful sports players. ------------ Roman: AH- Roman: I'm certainly not good at snatching cards away. Roman: Thank you. AH- oh my gosh! ------------ Patton: What's up? I'm Canine Skrillex. Is this Skrillex's outfit at all? Joan: Skrillex wears glasses. Patton: Other than the glasses? Joan: He wears black T-shirts... Patton: I was wrong. It was a poor joke to make. ------------ Deceit: *gags* Ugh, hairball. ------------ Deceit: *offended gasp* Joan: Oh my god, that's some sh*t I would do if I was offended. *laughter* Thomas: It was a very 'you' thing. ------------ Deceit: Wha- wha? ------------ Logan: Wha- what's that? *laughter* ------------ Logan: Particularly the fourth- Hold on. ------------ Logan: However, a mixture of- look at this f*cking thing. ------------ Logan: *words slurred* We're all having a good time! Joan: You look like.. a silly professor. Logan: Hey everybody. I know it's the last day of class. I thought I'd have some fun. ------------ Logan: It's so much nicer to be able to talk without a giant pair of testicles hanging from my chin. ------------ Logan: *high voice* Doooooo boy! ------------ Patton: Y'always seem to- y'all Patton: Y'always seem to have a- Patton: Y'AAAAlways see to have a- ------------ *laughter* Joan: You got drool- ------------ Roman: Guys, I broke my blue crayon. Can an- does anybody have an extra one? I'll just make do. ------------ Roman: What am I supposed to be building with this? I- ------------ Patton: Um when- when does Viola Davis get here? ------------ Deceit: You are in control of Thomas' fears, are you not? ...A little drunk. ------------ Thomas: I'm so gassy right now, I'm sorry. ------------ Thomas: *burps* Okay, hmm- sorry. ------------ Thomas: Okay, how do you do this? *Makes an exertion sound* Joan: *Makes a raspberry sound with mouth* Thomas: Oh- Thomas: I'm going to my room now. *laughter* Joan: That was my foot! BYE! ------------ Thomas: *Makes a raspberry sound with mouth* Ooh, oh! *laughter* Thomas: That's the stupidest thing! ------------ Patton: *burps* Excuse me ------------ Thomas: *rapping* Oh no, I farted out loud. Oh n- *laughter* Twenty-one Pilots Joan: *raps* I'm in church and I farted out loud! Thomas: Oh no! Joan: *raps* God heard, but the devil was the one who caused it *laughter* ------------ Patton: *Burps* I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're not. Patton: I think we got it. ------------ Patton: Wow, I really do look like Parappa the rapper. ------------ Logan: *weird voice* Ohana means family ------------ Logan: But Roman said, and I quote, "That dude-" hold, hold on. *laughter* Hold on. This is the floppiest notebook. ------------ Deceit: The only thing opening should be Thomas' mouth because he's about to be served a giant d*ck. *laughter* ------------ Virgil: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah... ------------ Thomas: So we're stuck in a loop? I don't know why I just made flirty eyes at Patton. ------------ Patton: Hey, some loops are fun! Froot! *laughter ------------ Category:Transcripts